its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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