She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
