does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
