So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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