I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
