i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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