Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
