I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
