just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
