thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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