Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
