Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
