On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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