I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
