talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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