im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
