i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
