She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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