I must be too annoying 4 u.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
