the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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