Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
