And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He did a backflip because drugs
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
