youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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