omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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