how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
