when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
