puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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