What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
