Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
