3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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