Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
