he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
