doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
