You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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