were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
