in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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