When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
