There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
we made out on top of his cat.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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