I hope mine doesn't look like that
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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