i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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