I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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