if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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