sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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