also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
