she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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