I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
