Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
