He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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