So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
