Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
